Clueless Hopeless 2000 2

CLUELESS, HOPELESS, AND SPENDTHRIFT: AUTOMOTIVE MARKETING, 2000

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SOME OTHER RECENT AUTOMOTIVE DM ATROCITIES

A fellow from overseas recently told me that "Subtle American" is an oxymoron. Right on target! We are rich, powerful, energetic, but we have the finesse of a hammer blow.

Metaphors and other forms of imagery require not only a subtlety of understanding on the part of the reader--they also require work, and no one in this postmodern age of information overload is willing to do the mental labor of disentangling images.

Images work great on TV, because, as you've heard me say a zillion times, TV is a right-hemisphere medium, and the right-hemisphere is where images are born and live. Direct mail is left-hemisphere. The twain don't meet.

Witness a mailing from Jeep, an auto I would rather eat than drive. "DON'T GET STUCK IN A RUT." They, of course, are using a familiar cliché to suggest Jeep's ability to navigate ruts, ditches, etc. It can work great on TV, where you have the visuals to accompany to phrase. On a direct mail envelope, though, it comes across as scolding and condescending. And why would anyone open the envelope? There's no benefit, no information, no intrigue, no offer.

None of these mailings has an offer, in fact, and the offer is what motivates people to take action. Volvo's business-reply card promises "To learn more about exciting new Volvos, please complete this survey and drop it in the mail." Lincoln (see below) promises to "Give me all the facts." This is direct marketing 101, but they would multiply their responses simply by merchandising the information, and tying it to at least a hint of a
benefit: e.g., "11 Unexpected Facts About the New Volvo C70...And How They'll
Increase Your Pleasure As Well As Your Safety."

Jeep is a little better, giving me the chance to attend "Jeep 101," where I can "put a Jeep 4 X 4 through its paces." I can see "winching demonstrations; Jeep vehicle displays...even go on a shopping spree at The Jeep Store." This would be OK for a current Jeep owner, but this is an acquisition mailing, not a terribly well targeted one since the average age
in my neighborhood is about 110.

Here's how the Jeep letter begins: "Dear Mr. James R. Rosenfield..."

This is truly bad practice. The reason to use the entire is to avoid honorifics, since it's easy to get them wrong, especially with female and bi-gender names, e.g., Pat Dana Kim. "Dear Mr. James R. Rosenfield" is the worst of two worlds. A few years ago, I would have thought that this kind of screwed-up detail had to be the work of a general above the line ad agency.

It's now 2000, though, and I can safely say that the big direct marketing agencies are now
as hopeless about direct marketing fundamentals as the general agencies. For all the hype about our commitment to education, we've done a lousy job.

Direct marketing agencies are doing an execrable job of institutionalizing knowledge. They are not even maintaining minimum standards of performance.

To continue the letter: "Crawl over boulders, power through ditches, and traverse a log bridge."

Evidently Jeep thinks I'm a deer or a coyote.

The brochure's cover headline: "IN OUR DRIVER'S EDUCATION COURSE, THINGS
ALWAYS GET OFF TO A ROCKY START" (photo of rocks)..."AND THEY GO DOWNHILL FROM THERE." Yep.

Next case, Lincoln.

I'd rather, I must say, drive a Jeep than a Lincoln, an auto I identify with livery drivers.

Elaborate, fancy huge outer envelope, ditto enormous brochure. Envelope copy: "It leaves everything behind without leaving anything behind." What?

All copy, of course, is in reverse.

There is no letter.

The business reply card, which traverses the mailstream unenveloped, asks if you've recently "Received a promotion at work," "Bought a house," or "Paid off your mortgage," all handy information for your neighborhood mail clerk who moonlights as a burglar.

This mailing is a disgrace.

All of these mailings, of course, are way off strategy from an even more fundamental standpoint than copy, graphics, etc. They're lead-generating mailings. The basic rule here is to remove costs from the front end, whose only job is to get people to raise their hands. You put the bulk of the budget into the subsequent process.

I guess that's not how the agencies see it, though.

I have some free advice for the car guys and their agencies. I just had dinner with the great Bob Stone. Read his book. You've probably never heard of it, even though it's the best-known book in the history of direct marketing. It's called "Successful Direct Marketing Methods," and a new edition is coming out soon. Memorize it